The Power of Praise!

This past Sunday my friend, who also has been standing by faith for her miracle baby for the past 9 years, announced that she is 9 weeks pregnant! What a GREAT and MIGHTY God we serve! She was infront of the church testifying and without even thinking I jumped up from my seat and ran up to her screaming and jumping and gave her a big hug. Then I fell on the floor crying and praising God for this miracle he has performed. He has answered my prayers, and my friend has conquered her trial and come out victorious through faith in Jesus Christ. Immediately came to my memory the post I wrote called "The Winter Blues". Another friend told us not to wish away any time, because this could be our time for conceiving, and for my friend that is exactly what happened! Oh what rejoicing when God fulfills his promises! It definately increases our faith for the promises we are still waiting for.

Not immediately, but within the hour I started being overwhelmed with a mental battle. "why did I have to find out the same week another friend will be giving birth?" "Why did I have to find out the week of my birthday?" I am over the moon excited for her, but "why not me too?" "Have I not stood strong enough?" "Have I waivered and didn't know it?" "Is there doubt and unbelief in my heart?" I could barely eat supper for being consumed with these thoughts. The devil was already trying to rob my victory.

I had the perfect solution! Since God is doing miracles right now I'd better go and try to get mine quickly, so I told my husband "let's go make our baby!" How carnal I was in thinking that I could work this out in the flesh! We started kissing and I lost it! Not like a few sniffles, I mean LOST IT! You would  have thought someone had just died. And indeed I was grieving, for my empty womb. My husband was so sweet and just held me and rocked me. I was shaking so badly I thought I was going to be sick and I couldn't catch my breath at all. A deep agonizing mourning for myself and the loss I felt. How could I be so happy for my friend and so sad for myself at the same time?

I haven't slept well for the past few weeks and knew that if I let myself stay worked up like this that I would have a terrible, sleepless night filled with worry, frustration, pain, sin. I didn't want to doubt God! I know he promised me and it WILL happen! I don't know why it is taking so long, but I can't worry about that right now. I had to get control of myself before I spiral down into depression and the devil really get's ahold of me. I kept telling myself to get a grip and God has not failed me. I quoted scripture and claimed victory in every area of my life. But still this overwhelming sadness was gripping me and I couldn't shake it. I also knew that I've stood too long and hard to let the devil rob me now and I'm not going to let him defeat me. So I began to Praise Him! I couldn't even think about anything specific or I would break out into tears again. I just began to worship!

"Thank you Jesus for healing me! Thank you Jesus for your peace! Thank you Jesus for your joy! Thank you Lord for all the miracles you've already done for me! (read my testimony) Thank you Lord that I have never lost confidence in you! Thank you Jesus for your goodness to me! I praise your holy name Jesus, for you are great and greatly to be praised! You took those stripes on your back for MY healing, and conquered death, hell and the grave for MY victory! Every battle has already been fought and won! Thank you Jesus for all your blessings on me!" It's amazing what the POWER of praise can do! I began to feel a peace come over me. A peace that surpasses all understanding. A peace that I can leave my burdens with the Lord and he will be faithful to me if I stay faithful to him!

This entire incident was only about a half hour long before I fell into a deep and peaceful sleep. The best sleep I have had in weeks. And I slept the whole night! AMEN for that!

Today I can still feel the enemy trying to fight my mind and rob MY victory, but I will NOT give it to him! I have been listening to T.D. Jakes on YouTube. Reading my bible. Praying. Praising! KNOWING that my miracle IS on the way and NO DEVIL IN HELL can rob me! All day I have praised God for my friends baby and knowing what a miracle it is, my faith is increased. And I think that may be the real battle. The enemy doesn't want my faith increased. But too late! hahaha GOD HAS ALREADY WON!!

My confidence is not in the things of this world. Doctor's may say my womb has failed and I need a hysterectomy, but God says I AM HEALED! Doctor's may say I have surgical damage and too much scar tissue, but my God says I AM HEALED! Doctor's may say I have tumors all through my womb and it's impossible, but my God says I AM HEALED! Man may say that it can't be done, but my God says IT CAN BE DONE! Man may say it's been 14 years, why don't you just adopt, but my God says OUT OF YOUR WOMB YOU SHALL BRING FORTH A SON! Man may say God doesn't move like that anymore, but God says I WANT TO DO IT IF YOU WILL ONLY BELIEVE!

I thank you Jesus today and always for the victory!

1Pe 5:6-10 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time. Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.

AMEN!

This song really blesses me and I wanted to share it with you. My first YouTube video! :)

"I Still Believe" ~ Jina McCool

T. D. Jakes - LOL

I posted these on the Child By Faith FB wall but thought it might be easier all together and in order! This is an AWESOME message about Faith, believing for the impossible, and Laughing Out Loud when God does something so outrageous in your life! I LOVE this message so much and know that it will encourage you and build your faith! There are 7 parts total that you can find on YouTube, but here are the 3 with the main message! His mouth doesn't follow the words so I just let it play while I did stuff around the house! Enjoy and LOL!

Gift Baskets for The Hubbel's

Welcome to my next project! For weeks I have had the idea to help out The Hubbel's aka Coupon Mommy of 3 on FB. Their 3 year old daughter Emily has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer and is currently in VERY intense treatment! You can read Emily's story HERE I can't even imagine what this family is going through but I have an idea that I think may bring some sunshine to their lives.

I am starting a project called Gift Baskets for The Hubbel's. With your help I would like to send the Hubbels the BEST Easter Baskets EVER! There are 3 daughters and Mom and Dad! I know with your help we can make this project come to life!

Your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated! If you would like to contribute to the gift baskets please email me at Sarahsewta@yahoo.com with Gift Basket's for The Hubbel's in the topic box. I have also set up a chipin widget on the right where you can donate money if you feel to. Even if you can only give a dollar, every bit helps!

Thanks

I am a dreamer!

I've had this thought bouncing around in my head for months. "I am a dreamer and Dustin is concrete." So what? Who cares? Big deal? I'm a dreamer remember, I don't need absolutes, just possibilities! But still this thought is nagging at me to write about, why? I have no idea but I feel compelled to write this. I'm not sure how this post will end up, but here goes ...



I love this picture, I think the girl looks like me! :)
http://www.laurensharon.etsy.com/



I am a dreamer! I suppose that is what makes me a good crafter. I see a vision and I make it come to life. I see the world in a rainbow of colors. Not always what it is, but what it has a possibility to become. I'm an optimist, always looking on the bright side. There's always something positive about every situation. Sometimes you just have to look for it. Sometimes you may never know what it is. But it's there! I always look on the bright side. Even when I know people are wrong I still give them the benefit of the doubt and like to believe they had good intentions and meant well. This is both a gift and a flaw, but there it is.

I also am a dreamer in the spiritual world. God speaks to me in dreams. Not every night. Not every month. But often I am awakened with a dream or vision from the Lord. I see things that are going to happen. I see and feel things that people are going through. Many times I have dreampt of giving birth and holding my child in my arms! AH those dreams are so wonderful I never want to wake up. These dreams can be very cool, but they can also be exhausting! I don't always see good things. I don't always see happy things! Some of the time these are heavy burdens that God has laid upon me to pray about. To intercede for someone. To stand in the gap. These are private things that I cannot share with anyone and most of the time I never tell a person I have had a vision about them, I just wait and pray. Sometimes I see it come to pass right away, sometimes it's years. And thankfully sometimes it never comes to pass because God has conquered and changed the circumstances!

Please do not think in any way that I am saying I am "super spiritual" or a prophet or anything like that! Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm just saying this is one way that God speaks with me.



http://www.inflower.etsy.com/

 Dustin on the other hand is concrete! A realist! He sees the world in black and white. Right or wrong. And yes I believe in right or wrong, but he is so absolute about it. From a young child he has had a wisdom that far precedes his age. Many older people have been jealous of his gift. I've never told him this, but I compare him to King Solomon in the bible (minus all the wives lol). He can process all aspects of a situation in record time and give a rational answer that you just can't argue with. He does not look at life through emotion, but by truth. Sometimes he's so unemotional about a situation I could scream! But his wisdom is always sound.

I asked him once how he encourages himself about God healing me and giving us a baby and he said "I don't think about it. God said it and it will happen" WHAT?!?! You don't think about it EVER!?!?! I think about it every hour, every minute of every day. SERIOUSLY NEVER?!?! "Nope, there's no need. It will happen when God is ready!" Oh I am SO envious of this! To be able to lay it all at God's feet and NEVER again worry, doubt, question... I am striving for this, but am far from there!

I often wonder why such a wise man would want someone so abstract and flighty as me. It's NOT RATIONAL!! We are opposites in nearly every area of our lives. Every area except one, that we love God with EVERY ounce of our being and yes we BOTH put God before each other! He helps me see the world through reality and truth, and I help him see the world as possibilities waiting to happen. I know all the time he is frustrated with me, and to be honest I am frustrated with myself alot of the time. I compare myself to him way to much, and see all the area's where I have failed miserably. I cannot always give the person the answer they are looking for. I don't have wisdom to make all the right choices. I hardly can quote any scriptures and half the time I can't even remember the scriptures he preached on. Only that I was moved and God changed me because of it. Try as I may I cannot be like Dustin.

So I am learning to let God use me in His own way, and it doesn't have to look like what it does with the next person. I don't have to be the preacher for God to speak through me.  God is so much bigger and stronger then we can ever imagine. So why do we think Christians should look and act like we were cut out of cookie cutters. Dustin is definately used by God, but I also am someone God can use. So I'm trying to stop comparing myself and allowing God to use me how HE wants and it's VERY freeing and liberating! I don't have to live up to man's expectations of what I should be, but I can live up to God's! How beautiful!

Prayer buddies!

This has been an awful week. Infact it is by far the worst week I've had all winter! First off I've been very sick with a bad cough. Thankfully the fever only lasted a few days, but this cough just doesn't want to go away. Secondly I am having the worst period I've had in over a year. Are the two related, who really knows. On a good month I might be a little bummed because of course this is the last thing I want to happen. But where I started out a little down, I seemed to slip down that slippery slope very quickly. My husband will tell you I have been unbearably cranky and moody!! In constant pain and very irritable. I can't seem to focus on anything for more then 5 minutes and I ask the same questions over and over without processing any answer or response. Remember my last post The Winter Blues! Yea I know ... Oh and I almost forgot, someone who thought they were giving me a "word from God" said to me that I don't have my baby yet because I'm not trusting God. Thank you for that! Why do people say mean rude things and try to pass it off as God's word? I HATE THAT!!! If you really thought I was doubting then you would have gotten further by saying "keep trusting in God! He cannot fail!" But no people tell you what they think you are doing wrong, not encourage you to do right. YES there is a difference!!!




Group Hug II (Limited Edition)
http://www.etsy.com/shop/barkingbirdart

  So anyway I thought this would be the perfect time to write a post. Everything's not going great! I don't "feel" great! I don't even feel good! But I know God is Good! And that's all that really matters. Usually I am the encourager. I try to stay positive and upbeat, always ready with an encouraging word. But this week I just couldn't seem to keep myself above water. Yea I prayed, read my bible even fasted. Still after the second day of frustration and tears I decided it was time to bring in the reinforcements! I called my prayer buddies. A group of women who I know will pray for me at the drop of a hat. A non judgemental zone where I can go and be honest and real without fear of being laughed at, mocked or rebuked for "not being spiritual enough." Within minutes I started to feel the pressure break and peace come in. Several calls, emails and prayers throughout the day made me feel stronger then I have in weeks. Although I do not "feel" great in body, I know all is well with my soul! I thank God for these GREAT Godly women he has put in my life that know how to nurture and love their own, and not kill and destroy like I have sadly seen in so many churches.

One friend even told me that God showed her the spiritual attack my husband and I have been under and she really began to weep and pray for us. Our baby IS on the way! God HAS NOT failed me! I AM NOT doubting!! And yes I have forgiven those that have wronged me. Sometimes people don't realize how bad their words hurt!

So I leave you with these thoughts! Things don't have to go great for God to be great! I don't have to fight my battles alone! Choose wisely what words you use! Love unconditionally without judging, after all you want mercy for yourself! Give someone a hug just because! Praise God through the storm for the sun will shine in the morning! Keep enduring, for you may not see your answer now but that doesn't mean it's not on the way! Believe that all things are possible!

Love you all! And a special thank you to my prayer buddies!

The Winter Blues

I know it's been a long time since I've written. And I really feel like I need to get back on track! So here's my thought for today ...

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I remember as a child my mom always seemed to get the winter blues from January - March. I would roll my eyes and think to myself "it's that time of year, here we go again" Of course I would never speak such a thing out loud, but the thoughts were there!

The last few years I have begun to understand what it was. Here in Maine the winters can be nasty. Lots of cold snowy days. Icy roads. Praying that the pipes won't freeze and bust. That you'll have enough oil to make it through the winter. That your car will stay on the road and not slip all over the place, always cautious for the driver who has 4 wheel drive and thinks they are invincible. The list goes on and on but the worst for me is the sunshine! I MISS THE SUNSHINE!!! Even on a sunny day it's usually pretty hazy and overcast. And I begin to understand what Mom was going through. The winter blues!

And of course that will lead to my favorite time of year being spring. I love being able to go outside with only a sweater on. I love seeing the tiny crocuses bud through the snowy grass, bringing hope that a new season has come. There's just something about spring that makes me feel alive and joyful. But until then I must endure the winter. Many days I find myself wishing it away and praying for spring to come early.

Recently a friend of my, also TTC, and I were complaining about the winter and joking that we would like to skip Feb all together. Well another lady in the church, kinda like a mother figure to us, gently reprimanded us and said "Come on you two cowards. Whats up with Feb. Don't we all serve the same God and don't you know that whatever is in Feb He planned for you to either teach you or bless you and if you miss it you'll miss His perfect plan. What if Feb was the month of conceivement for either of you MaMa's to be; would you miss it. Don't ever let me hear you say you'd give up one precious day that our Jesus would give to you..what is that all about? I'm 63 and value life and am watching a precious lady I've known most of that life heading into her final days and I know she'd give anything for one more kiss from her precious husband and one more day to me a ma'ma to her children...I'm spanking both of you!"

Tears! Tears of repentance! Tears of thankfulness that she wasn't afraid to speak the truth! Tears of thankfulness that Jesus loves me so much that he would send this reminder to me that everyday is precious! Those words ate at me the whole day. I couldn't sleep at all, tossing and turning. Thinking of that "spiritual spanking" I had just received! And like a child throwing a fit it snapped me out of my temper tantrum! (So thanks Sister!) I woke up with the scripture on my mind:

Psa 118:24 This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Thank God for today, and find something to rejoice in!

***UPDATE*** My friend actually did conceive at the end of Feb/ beginning of March. The time she was wishing away was actually the time God had planned to bless her. Hold fast to the promises God has made to you and believe! This could be YOUR TIME for God bless you!
~Sarah

My Story - Part 8 ... Nothing shall be impossible ...

I have written my story in several parts because it is so long. You can read:
Part 1 HERE
Part 2 HERE
Part 3 HERE
Part 4 HERE
Part 5 HERE
Part 6 HERE
Part 7 HERE

For years I have suffered with chronic fatigue and insomnia. I always figured it was because of all my surgeries, but it got so bad my primary care physician sent me to a neurologist. He did several tests and discovered that I had heart disease and sent me to a cardiologist. He said in a 30 minute test my heart beat was completely chaotic and no two beats were the same. I guess he was very concerned, I wasn't, because he made an emergency appointment for me for the next day. I took the stress test and I was very healthy by that standard! Ha I knew it! But he wanted to do the tilt table test. I told him fine whatever, there was nothing wrong with me anyway! The tilt table was to prove whether my BP dropped low enough for me to have fainting spells. Come on this is not Hollywood, I DO NOT FAINT!! I endured the test and used every bit of will power I had. I was going to prove him wrong. Finally after over a half hour, he put nitro under my tongue, and I passed out within seconds! Let me tell you the movies have it all wrong! There is nothing graceful about it at all. I had the worst headache EVER and just wanted to vomit. He was almost laughing at me after the test. He had never seen someone with so much will power to fight! LOL Guess he didn't know all that I had already been through and I had to have will power to survive. I was diagnosed with NeuroCardiogenic Syncope. A fancy name for saying that my BP drops too low and I faint. Seriously I was being diagnosed with a fainting disease. I thought it sounded stupid. (As you know by now I'm not very good when doctor's try to diagnose me. LOL)

I was put on a bunch of Blood Pressure pills, and as much as I hate to admit it, I did feel a lot better! I had always had low BP, but now that my large intestines were gone I had a hard time absorbing liquids, so my veins couldn't pump my blood to my head fast enough. It's not really as bad as it sounds. When I get up too fast, all my blood rushes to my feet and kinda sits there for a few seconds. Then my heart has to work super hard to try to get it to come back up. During those few seconds my brain doesn't have enough oxygen and I black out. Usually I can feel it happen and I have a split second to grab the wall or something until it passes. A few times it has caught me off guard and I fell on the floor, usually bumping my head pretty hard. (shh don't tell my doctor! LOL)

About a year and a half after I was diagnosed with heart disease I had a vision. Before I go on I should tell you it's pretty common for me to have visions and dreams. I usually have one every couple months or so. It just seems to be one of the ways God talks to me. Anyway so I had a vision and there were alot of things he showed me. And one of them was that I am already healed. I no longer have to rely on doctors for treatment. Just because I can't see the miracle yet, doesn't mean it's not there! I just have to stand with every ounce of my being, and believe! Don't look at circumstances or what my body is telling me, but trust what God has told me. He promised me a son was on the way, and my body is completely made whole. He was even going to grow back my intestines, and men and doctor's will wonder at the miracle he has done! AWESOME!

Well I was so excited when I woke up. Many people had told me these same things, but somehow God had made it so real to me. God has never lied to me, or failed me. So I took this vision to heart. I once again threw away ALL my medicine. I started buying maternity clothes and baby stuff. I was walking by faith that I was healed! I made an appointment with the cardiologist and told him I stopped my meds. He did a bunch of tests and told me I was healthy and if I was doing so well without the medication, I didn't need to take them anymore. He also showed me a picture from my first test and my most recent test. The most recent scan had showed perfect heart beats for a 30 minute period. Truly a miracle! God had done it again!

I was really hoping that I would see results of the baby immediately, but it was not to be. It has been over 2 years since this happened. But I have not doubted and wavered. I KNOW what God said! He promised to heal my womb and give me a son, and I KNOW it will happen! He promised to grow back my intestines, and every morning I look for that to happen! I don't know how or when these things will happen. All I know is that God told me to stand and believe that I am already healed and these things ARE going to happen!

God has been so good to me and healed me many times. He has also given me many promises of what is to come, if I have enough faith to believe! I truly thank God for all he has brought me through and the lessons he has taught me along the way. I don't wish any of these trials away because God has used them to make me who I am today. I KNOW he can heal diseases, he healed ME! I KNOW he can heal cancer, he healed ME! I KNOW he can deliver from addictions, he healed ME! I KNOW he can over write doctor's reports, he has done it to me over and over again! And I KNOW I will have my own child soon! He has NEVER failed me and I KNOW HE NEVER WILL!

Thank you for reading my story! It has meant so much to me to share it with you! I'd love to read any comments you have! God Bless you and remember:

Luke 1:37

For with God nothing shall be impossible!