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Saturday, October 23, 2010

My Story - Part 3 ... sometimes you have to laugh

I am writing my story out in parts because it is so long. You can read Part 1 HERE and Part 2 HERE!

300 days in the hospital is exhausting!

I used to remember every statistic and every detail, but thankfully time has a way of making you forget the awfulness that happens. So I will sum it up as best as I can. I spent almost an entire year in Boston, as previously stated. Then 5 more years going back and forth every month. I still weighed only 78 lbs. I just couldn't gain weight no matter what awful shake or concoction I tried. And let me tell you everybody and their brother had some magic potion for gaining weight. It was exhausting. I had a total of 18 abdominal surgeries for Crohn's and complications. I still wanted a baby desperately and so that became my focus. I became consumed with having a baby. Everything else was so dark and depressing that I focused on getting better so I could get pregnant. Of course we couldn't really "try" because I was so sick, but hey one can hope, right!!

Finally one ileostomy bag was reversed, but I still had the other one. Living with an ileostomy bag isn't really something you can prepare yourself for. Looking back I can honestly say that 90% is your mental outlook. If I let it overwhelm me, I fell apart. But when I started looking at it as just another way to go to the bathroom, it wasn't so bad. I'll tell some funny stories for you:

Our life for almost 6 years!

One day I was holding my son J.T. (I'll write about him later) in church. I stood up to testify and felt something warm and gooey running down my leg, I said to myself, "oh crap" and looked down and my shoe was filled with, yup you guessed it, poop! LOL The baby had jumped on my leg and popped the clip off and poop was all over me, the floor, the baby .... everywhere. Gotta laugh!!

Someone told me it was easier to empty the ostomy bag standing up. I tried it, but the poop missed most of the toilet, and what did hit the toilet made a big splash all over me and the walls. It took a long time to clean it all up! EEWWW I don't think the person who told me that had ever tried it.

I LOVE sleeping on my stomach. Always have. Well I've learned to sleep at a bit of an angle with a pillow supporting me because in the early days I would lay on the bag and it would literally "blow up" and we would wake up covered in poo. AAHH gotta love this new life!

Some brilliant person told me to "burp" the bag. Which is to let some of the gas out so you don't have to go to the bathroom and empty it. If you've never smelt poop from an ostomy bag then it's hard to explain. It's from higher up in your intestines so the food is partially digested, very acidic and extremely runny. The smell is absolutely horrid. So one night I was in bed and so tired I decided to give the bag a "burp". Well the smell was so bad I pulled the covers way up to my neck to get away from it. Sadly Dustin didn't realize what I had done and he pulled the covers high over his head, poor thing. He woke up so fast and jumped from the bed throwing the blankets on the floor. Not only had he stuck his head right in the smell, but also some of the stool had run all over the sheets. I have never tried to "burp" again!

I could go on and on but you get the idea, it takes some adjustment. And don't believe everything you hear! LOL

Thankfully I married a man with a sense of humor!
I love him so much!

They tried several times to reverse the bag but I kept getting rectal/vaginal fistulas. Basically I pooped where I should have peed. It was very gross and uncontrollable. Any time I walked, turned or basically moved I pooped down my leg. EEWWW My doctor was convinced that the J-Pouch should work and put me through an incredible amount of tests, procedures and pain. Finally I told him enough is enough and I wasn't going through with it any more. We could no longer try to have a baby because, YES I was even pooping on my husband. That was the final straw for me.  After much begging I was given a permanent ileostmy bag and the J-Pouch was removed. The doctor's found a hole the size of a quarter in the pouch. I had walked around for 6 years with a hole the size of a quarter in my intestines and NEVER got toxic! THAT IS A MIRACLE!!! It should have killed me within minutes, but I went 6 years. WOW!!

Because I had been in the hospital so much, and Dustin left my side as little as possible, we were behind on our bills. We got a letter from the bank saying we had to pay three months rent or they were going to foreclose. We had no money, all we could do was pray. Three days before the money was due Dustin's work took up a collection for him. They raised enough money for us to catch up on all our bills, buy food, and pay our tithes. And there was still money left over. God was teaching me to trust Him in every area of my life. What a Great and Mighty God I serve! Sometimes He uses the most unexpected places for His will to be done! I Love Him so much!


Amber. said...

Sarah, what an amazing attitude you have. You have been through SO incredibly much, I cannot imagine the emotions and stress and pain. I love how God has been with you and REAL to you through this all. He loves you so much and it is very clear that YOU ARE HERE for a reason. He has a plan and purpose for your life, and you're living it! That's exciting stuff...blessings to you today, my friend.

zombiemommie said...

I have many hilarious (at least to me) poop stories, there's no getting through it without a sense of humor.

mky315 said...

Thanks Sarah,,On to P4

Anonymous said...

i met you guys right after you came home from boston. love the blog good work

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